Home.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

This week on the Equals Record, I wrote about the notion of home - and how that's changed for me as I've gotten older. Despite the fact that I've lived in New York for three years, I still think of L.A. as home - it's where my parents are, after all. It's where I was born. But I love living in New York and spend 99% of my time here - at what point, if ever, will it really become home to me?

An excerpt from the new post: I often tell people that New York feels like “The One”; that I love its noisiness and smelliness, its history and cultural mishmash. I live here and work here. Most of my friends are here. For all intents and purposes, my life is here. And yet, it still feels a bit funny to refer to New York as home. In fact, it’s a strange concept for me to think of home as anywhere other than where my parents are. Is home defined by family, I wonder? Parents? Friends? Or is it where you work? Play? Lay your head at night? I’m not sure. 

See the post in its entirety on the Equals Record, here. Thank you so, so much for reading!

Photos of L.A. and New York by Max Wanger.

20 comments:

jacquelyn | lark&linen said...

I've never lived anywhere else but I can only imagine how you feel! Toronto will forever and always be home, no matter where my life path takes me!

Those photos are amazing by the way. I really think Max is my favourite photographer out there. I could pick out one of his pieces a mile away!

RaquelDoesLife said...

Shoko, I never fail to relate to what you write. As we were both saying before...People vs. Place. It all comes down to accepting that we don't have the answers to what "home" means right now, and that's okay. And hopefully someday enough of the People will merge with the Place, and we'll have a new place to call home, wherever that may be =]

Amy Turman said...

I know exactly how you feel. Though I've lived in LA for six years now, I still consider San Diego my home. Home is where the family is!

xoxo,
mon amy

angela said...

Funny I just posted about my teenage home, how I still feel like that is more home compared to anything else. It is a good question, what defines home? Warm cozy memories, or the current place where our life is actually happening?

Henry Chen said...

Another great weekly post!! Keep up the good work!

Stefania said...

I still call RI home and I haven't lived there in 10 years. I lived and went to school in NY and then moved to PA. I love PA and could NEVER move back to RI, but I guess because my mom is there and so many friends and family, it is still home...

Lisa said...

Shoko, I absolutely loved your post and your question made me think about my own feelings regarding home. You can find a (somewhat long) response (sorry!) on the Equals Record.

Melissa said...

I have the same dilemma all the time. My parents live in Alabama and while I never see myself back there, it does have this sense of comfort. I wonder if it will just take a magical number of years before I call NYC (or any other random place I land) "home" or it will require the gravitational pull of starting my own family in a new place etc. Who knows! Great post!

Shoko said...

Jacquelyn, that is so sweet! I will let him know you said that - he'll be so flattered!

Rachel, beautifully said.

Lisa, can't wait to read it. Thank you.

Melissa, thanks! I've wondered about the "magical number of years" thing, too. People have said it takes 10 years to become a true New Yorker - whew! Not even halfway there, but I feel like I've been in this city forever!

Ladies Holiday said...

Shoko-
I'm so intrigued by your thoughts. I have a non-fiction book proposal shopping around just now about this very subject: the notion of home. In the coming months I would love to email/talk some more about your ideas about this specifically with regards to NYC, if of course you are interested.
Best-
Deirdre

Chelsea C. said...

Love the new piece, as always.

And by the by, I'm so excited to be going back to the place that has always been "home" to me. Even after 5 years living, working, and loving it here in NYC, it's always felt like a stop on the path back to California.
xoxo

see you down the aisle said...

Not to be a stalker or anything..but I finally figured out where I recognized you from with this post! Were you one of Max Wanger's first wedding photo subjects? And you had a big flower headband on? I am obsessed with his work!

I'm also an Angeleno transplant in NYC and if there was only a way to meld together the best parts of the two cities, it would create something too-good-to-be-true, wouldn't it?

Shoko said...

Deirdre, of course! Send me an email anytime; I'd love to talk!

Chelsea, thank you! Even though I'll miss you when you move, I'm so excited for you. It's going to be such a happy homecoming!

SYDTA, yes, that's me! Max is my brother - we did that a few years ago. It was an editorial shoot, though, so I'm not really married :) And yes, I totally agree - an NYC/LA mash-up would be a dream come true. If only!

Emily said...

I've loved all of your pieces on the Equals Records, I feel like each of them have spoken to me directly and I can relate in so many ways!

I find myself feeling the exact same way, after 3 years in NYC I still say I am going home to Oklahoma and "back" to NYC. I'm not sure that being in a place different than "home" is a bad thing, it makes living in NYC seem more like an adventure to me:)

Shoko said...

Thanks, Emily! So glad to hear that! And you're right - living here does feel like an adventure. I still feel giddy sometimes when I realize I get to be here every day!

Sage Crown Parker said...

i love your photos!
i can relate to never feel as though nyc was home... i never felt like i would live there forever. although i do feel very much like where i live now in the caribbean is home because i connect to where i live..... but i don't think i will live here forever either :)
xoxo

Molly said...

Great post topic. I can empathize with what you're saying. I'm on a similar timeframe (NYC for 2.5ish years), but western Massachusetts (where my parents live) still feels like my home base in many ways. It's where I go to sort of center myself and regroup. I've come to think of home as wherever your closest family unit is. For now, that's where my parents are. When I "grow up" and have a family of my own, home will probably feel like wherever that little unit is.

Your bro has some major skills. I feel like I should pencil him in to do my totally non-existent wedding in like seven years just so I can make sure he's free.

Shoko said...

Molly, having a place to center and regroup is so nice, isn't it? Even though my home base is far away, I like just knowing it's there. And about Max - I feel the same way! I need to pencil him in for my (as yet unplanned) wedding, too!

Brianna Soloski said...

Beautiful photos. I'm originally from LA, but live in Vegas. LA isn't home as I haven't lived there since I was 10 and I have no ties, except for a few wonderful friends. On the flip side, Vegas isn't really home either. It's an interesting concept.

ever ours said...

as someone who's moved about 5 times in her life, i've never really been able to define somewhere as home. but i do have to say that i take parts of each place i've lived and count that part as "home".

sidenote, i am loving the Equals Record.

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