The second post of my Equals Record column, "Looking Forward," went live yesterday. (The Equals Record is the brainchild of Elisabeth Fraser and Miya Hirabayashi, and features a diverse array of women's voices on a wide variety of topics.) My column focuses on my life and the challenges - and joys! - of growing up. This week, I wrote about over-thinking.

An excerpt from the new post: "I read a passage from Charles Bukowski’s Factotum a few weeks ago that made me laugh. Then, when I finished laughing, I wrote it down, cut it out, and taped it to my wall. 'If you’re going to try, go all the way,' it reads, 'Otherwise don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail'...For most of my life, I’ve put a fair amount of effort into avoiding mistakes. From big ones (should I move across the country?) to small ones (is that comma in the right place?), I’m something of an over-thinker. Sometimes it’s a tendency that serves me well. Other times, I worry so much about the potential consequences of an action or decision that I err on the side of caution – or don’t end up doing anything at all."

Read the rest on the Equals Record, here. Also, thank you so much, as always, for your support and encouragement on the first post. Getting personal can be scary - your kind words meant the world!


  1. I'm right there with you - I overthink and worry about everything! (I also hate getting in trouble and breaking rules, something that I'm really working on.)

    mon amy

  2. I definitely feel victim to this very same thing. My mind is my most prized possession and biggest enemy! Lately I've been making a conscious effort to just be. Live and enjoy and not beat myself up over the teeniest of tiny things. My favourite thought: "will this REALLY matter in a week?" if not, I let it go (usually it won't. usually)

  3. as always, I very much enjoy reading your work

  4. I just commented on your post over on the Equals Record, but had to come here too and tell you that I am so glad that you decided to take that leap and start this blog. I had no idea that this was something you had thought so long about doing!

    I stumbled upon your blog randomly last month, and I am so glad that I did because your posts have become a happy daily read for me! Thank you :-)

  5. Really loving this new column!! I can definitely relate, these days I am so indecisive, scared to commit to something or to make a mistake. I miss the days of being a kid - being fearless :)

  6. This is just what I needed right now.

  7. I am such an over-thinking. I am in my head WAY too much and sometimes, it stops me from acting and taking chances. OK, so some of these chances will lead to epic fails, but in the end I will be fine. I need to remind myself of that.

    When I over-think "big" decisions, I also try to remember that I never want to stop trying new things. Life can get stagnant really fast.

    And in the end, it's usually the things we didn't do that we regret, isn't it?

  8. Shoko, i just read the article in its entirety and was able to relate to you in EVERYTHING you said. Your writing is amazing (I know, I've mentioned this before, but that's OK. I will probably mention it many times more!). Tomorrow (when I'm more awake) I'll also leave a comment on the Equals Record. For now I just wanted to say: WOW!

  9. I just read both your posts on the equals record and love it! You write so well and it's so nice to read more about you.

  10. Over-thinkers unite! I am the exact same way. I over-think every. single. little. thing. And you've got some timing, girlfriend, because today I hit a kind of over-thinker milestone: after months of hemming and hawing over for months, I finally I started my photography business (aka: made a Facebook page for it)! Sometimes you just have to plug your ears, close your eyes, and sing, "LALALALA" at the little voice in your head that asks, "What if?", and just do it...alas, much easier said than done.

    Anyway, I'm glad you decided to hit that publish button, because I thoroughly enjoy your writing and your blog =]

  11. Thanks so much, guys! I loved reading these comments.

    Amy, I hear you - getting in trouble has been one of my biggest fears since childhood. Now that I'm an adult, I'm making an effort to work on that, too.

    Jacquelyn, yes! Me, too - sometimes I even have to ask myself, "Will this really matter in twenty minutes?"

    Becca, as always, thank you :)

    Kathy, that's so sweet - thank you! That means so much to me.

    Jenna, I know what you mean. I miss being a kid, too - although I still totally feel like one!

    April, oh, so glad!

    Jocy, yes, exactly - I think being stagnant is far worse than any epic fail that comes from taking a chance.

    Lisa, can't thank you enough. I appreciate your encouragement and enthusiasm SO much.

    Trishie, thank you! So happy you like them!

    Rachel, that's incredible! Congratulations! And thank you for your sweet words - I've been loving your blog, too!

  12. Been keeping up with the new column, and loving it! A little extra Shoko every week -- that's the best! xo

  13. Really love your post, Shoko--and I totally relate to every word of it! Recently, I've also decided to start taking more risks (no matter how small) and push myself out of my comfort zone. I've found that every time I do, I feel happier and stronger, too. Looking forward to reading more posts!

  14. Thanks, Chels!

    Heather, that's awesome. I feel totally the same way. Thank you so much for reading!

  15. Shoko, you are such a talented writer, genuine, unpretentious, and easy to relate to. Your article was inspiring, as I'm wrestling with taking a huge risk at the moment.. and though it's terrifying, I think I'm going to "go all the way"! Have you seen Brené Brown's TED talk on vulnerability? You might like it :)

  16. Christine, thank you so, so much! Just watched the TED talk - it's awesome!

  17. I really enjoyed reading your new column. You're such a great writer! It gets me everytime I read your writing :) xo akiko
    Style Imported

  18. It was a lovely piece, Shoko. Thanks for sharing it here too.
    Ronnie xo



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